Have you ever felt hurt when someone didn’t seem to care about what you said? Or maybe you felt angry when someone criticized your work? It’s easy to take things personally. But what if you could learn to let things go? What if you didn’t take things to heart?
Taking things personally can drain your energy. It can make you feel bad about yourself. It can also hurt your relationships with others. But there’s a way to stop!
Here are two ways to stop taking things personally.
Why Do We Take Things Personally?
When someone says or does something, it can feel like a personal attack. You might feel betrayed, offended, or neglected. But who says that you should feel that way? It’s your ego.
Your ego wants to be right all the time. It wants to be praised and acknowledged. When your ego is in control, you are always fighting. This can make you tired and unhappy.
Wouldn’t it be easier to not take things personally? When you don’t take things personally, no one has power over you. You are free to be yourself. You also have better relationships with others. You can use your energy for good things, instead of fighting.
Strategy 1: It’s Not About Me
When you take things personally, you think it’s all about you. If someone looks at their phone while you’re talking, you might think they don’t respect you. But what if it’s not about you?
Try to see things from the other person’s point of view. Why are they looking at their phone? Maybe they are waiting for an important message. Or maybe they just aren’t interested in what you are saying.
When you shift your focus from “me” to “we”, you make space for understanding. You stop being irritated.
Think about when your child is throwing a tantrum. They might say, “I hate you!” But you don’t take it personally. You know they are just angry because they want something.
It takes practice to see the good in others. Our brains have many thoughts each day. Many of them are negative. When you see two people laughing and looking at you, it’s easy to assume they are laughing at you. But maybe they noticed your new shoes.
It takes effort to correct yourself. You have to remind yourself that you don’t know what others are thinking.
Strategy 2: It Is About Me
Sometimes, when you take things personally, it really is about you. You have to look in the mirror and ask yourself why you feel that way.
If someone’s words hit a nerve, it might be because of something you are insecure about. For example, if someone calls you selfish, it might hurt because you know it’s true sometimes.
When you are criticized and it hurts, it might be because of something from your past. Maybe you never felt good enough as a child.
When something touches a nerve, give yourself some kindness. Acknowledge that it hurts. You can also speak up and tell the other person how you feel.
Tell them what’s going on inside you without blaming them. This can help them understand you better.
Putting It All Together
Here’s a quick reminder of the strategies:
- It’s not about me: Look at the other person’s intention.
- It is about me: Give yourself empathy and speak up.
By following these strategies, you can learn to stop taking things personally. This can improve your relationships and make you feel happier.
Start Today
Don’t wait to put these strategies into practice. The next time someone says or does something that bothers you, remember these tips. It takes work, but it will get easier.
Consider this: How would your life change if you stopped taking things personally?
People may attack you, criticize you, or ignore you. They can crumple you up with their words or walk all over you. But remember: whatever they do or say, you will always keep your worth.
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